Swimming with whales

 It happened, a dream, a desire, a wish, a longing, in the water with whales.  What I learned, what I wished for was beyond what I could of imagined.  Put away, the humans, for they do as they do get in the way of a magical moment, yet we were all there looking for the same experience to be near these mystical magical beings to somehow learn something… one is nervous the first time for there is so much anticipation and patience as you search the deep blue looking for any signs of a whale, one is spotted you need to hurry to get in the water, to swim as fast as you can yet to be as quiet as you can, some of the humans can’t swim or are too loud and don’t follow the rules to stay together etc etc… yet the moment happens it is you near a magical being of the sea, and all stops, you are graced with the presence of mystical wonder, beyond words really…. But my words are gratefulness for the moment, for being a bit fearful of the unknown and doing it anyway, grateful my body held up for the long swim, exited to accomplish a goal of mine, but beyond that the whales taught me to have patience, expect the unexpected, that magic does exist, that energy and good vibes do matter, that dreams do come true, it might not go as you planned, but it does happen if you believe.  They are so beautiful, the are guardians of some kind, they have much to teach us, I am so grateful that most of the hunting has ended, even though at times I even felt like we should not be chasing them to be near them, we should just leave them alone, I think they understood that we just need some magic in our lives so they graced us with their presence.  It was wow, it was everything. Humbled to of had these moments.  Thank you thank you thank you.  One ex of the wonder was one trip as we did four, we spent a couple hours searching, I did say a silent prayer to them, if you hear me come near, they did, we went in the water to get ready to swim and to my amazement they were below our boat, as to say we heard you and here we are… another was whale and now enter the dolphins… another was I was so in the moment of swimming that I missed a whale right in front of me, found her later, but still, lesson is to be in the moment yet be aware of your surroundings, lol.  Heard them singing, not in the water at that moment, but that gives me something to look forward to, to feel their vibrations of the song.  It was perfection, more perfection would be less humans and perhaps just to be in the water and have them come to you instead of chasing the magic, still it was glorious, it was everything.  Isn’t it great to be alive and have experiences of nature and all her glory, there is so much on this beautiful planet.  Ok just wanted to write a bit about it, as to remember, as to inspire to keep searching for magic, it is all around.

Do you hear yourself scream inside

 At times there is a scream within, either for me or past generations or the animals or the planet.  Emotions arise with no home to call, out of the depth it pours out of you.  Releasing mother pain of the provider survivor fighter, fathers pain of perfection which haunts him paralyzing him to do anything.  Finding your unique soul fighting for answers to find a quiet peace and satisfaction that all is good, release and be.  Yet sometimes there a scream within, I can hear it, calling out.  Do you?  We just want to be happy and free, so mote it be.  Always searching, always trying to understand and that in itself is enough.  Grow and be.

60 is here

 60 is here, what to do with that… crazy to think I have been here this long, grateful to continue.  Is it what I imagined?  no, no parade, no bells, just me, love in my heart, more humble, more grateful.  Oh I had visions of travel through Europe this year, promises made with another, the other gone from this life, a promise we could not keep.  Pivot move with the journey I do, perhaps slightly disappointed in friends not being closer, yet I think I always knew that, kept my distance for a reason, yet being older wanting more connection, trying to be available for more, yet not getting it… yet really ok with that as well, releasing expectations is a constant lesson, I think I get better at it.  I can rely on me, to take care of myself, to love myself, to be love, to stop fighting for more, to accept, to share, to grow.  All the things… this I have learned in my 60 years.  So happy bday to me, you did good, you fell, you got up, you forgave, forgave myself was the big one and I did.  I thank you life, I hope to get many more journeys around the Sun.  It went by fast, it can slow down now.