We have the time now to search our souls, going down the rabbit hole as they say... much of our deep pain comes from the loss of a childhood, the love and safety we so desired follows us. I was loved yet safety was never a guarantee. My father dealt with undiagnosed emotional trauma that led him into panic whenever control was loss, I seem to have possibly inherited this gene, if that is what it is or it is learned behavior that I have yet to unlearn, not as often as I age, yet it can sneak up on me and when I search for reasoning, I am always led back to the father. We were best friends as a child, these days there is no connection due to his lack of motivation to keep on living, be the meds or his love of being irresponsible or both. I can’t help him, so I let that boat sail, loving him as it drifts away. So I search in me, trying to forgive myself for wanting it to be different, accepting that which is, remembering what was good, releasing the bad and so on and so on. Hoping one day not to be triggered when I have no control, each time getting a little closer to peace, yet trying not to judge myself when I fail, but get up, learn and do better next time. Prayer faith in all that is, loving myself, believing, grateful for love and happiness. We are all doing our best, I believe that, ok till later, I feel better now 💗
Tuesday, March 9, 2021
So many writings I have, some make it here some do not... For you inquisitive minds, have you ever wondered where to the birds go to die? Good title for a book I thought, what book, my story? Being too critical for my own good, I ask who would care to read it? Has it not all been said... mine is a girl raised by broken love, two people doing their best as unknowing unwise children coming from broken homes themselves. I spent my life forgiving them again and again, my mind has questions always, in search of purpose and meaning, with the desire to be part of something bigger than me and my stuff. These days I am beyond grateful for all that I have, peace and love being the forefront, I say thank you, but I still wonder where do the birds go to die? The answer, without researching would be, learn to be comfortable in the not knowing, this I tell you inquisitive mind, surrender and so it is.
Friday, February 12, 2021
77 you would of been on this day. Only 65 successful journeys around the Sun. I still mourn, I still miss you everyday, you are forever with me. As we the survivors walk on, who can say for certain maybe you’re still here, I can hear you in silence, and you are mine forever love, beyond the distant star, I wish to see you smile. Stay safe, stay in love, stay in peace, stay in glory. I know you’re there, a breath not far from where you are. Words of another speak from my heart. I forever and ever love you my Moma, Clare Shamer Miller. Thank you for all you taught me and for all you still do, you are simply glorious.
Saturday, February 6, 2021
So I rediscovered when your faith is questioned, when re-examination comes to play and you are reassured that yes it is and yes you are worthy and yes you are strong and yes time to get stronger for you are needed. For the day of reckoning is upon us and the light warriors need to be prepared for within the cobwebs of the lost wandering souls a cleansing is needed, for Terra and the souls freedom to awaken to a clearer vision so that our true heaven can be reborn unto us all. These days have been before and these days will be again. What side are you on? Can you see with eyes and a heart filled with a majestic light of love or are you trapped in the cobwebs of fear and judgement. Don’t worry we a gearing up to come free you, so that your eyes may see. God is here, god is near, all is well, all is coming, thank you spirits of the light, all that is has our back, you are supported, so gear up warriors of the light, redemption for Terra and the universe is upon us. Love wins every time, may be tested, yet reassurance is always a positive. Thank you, to those who question or debate your faith, in that more strength is born, let’s go. Onward...
Friday, February 5, 2021
Let’s begin with why one should never debate with a Christian especially a reborn one. A Facebook friend posted why meditating is dangerous as it welcomes demons...well, being a yogi, I felt I had to say something. Let’s just say we went down the rabbit hole and instead of peacefully agreeing to disagree, I was given harsh scare scripture, telling me I was on a path of destruction and if I don’t agree with the Bible before I die, it will be too late afterwards to have a spot in heaven, and she felt sorry for me.... So that was that, unfriend she became. So now having been a Christian I needed to recheck myself for my brain needs to be certain that I Am on a path to God and Hell is not in my future. For me, these are my reasons. The planet is 4.5 Billion years old, yet the Bible says it is 6,000 years old. With that one simple fact, it causes a brain that is not brainwashed by fear of going to Hell, to be curious outside of this Bible to find a truth that resonates with God and All that is. For a spiritual being inside a human I am. I love the Bible it has good stuff in there, but in my heart and soul it is not the only way to God, how can it be, a book that if even written by the Holy Spirit was through Man for one small region on this planet. What about those in Asia and other parts of the world they also found their path to God, are they all wrong...There is one true light that it God, yet there can be many paths to him. The God in the Bible is a loving forgiving God, if he or she the BibleGod is all that is, how can one be condemned for seeking answers elsewhere? If you have love within and God is love, then who is to say my God is better than your God, makes no sense to me. So on this day I am at peace. The day of reckoning is upon us, perhaps we will know the truth then. I respect my fellow Christians beliefs, I pray they one day can respect my Mystic beliefs. We are all children of God. The Bible is but one glorious love letter from god, yet man got his imperfect hands on it. I feel perhaps because Man wanted to control people and used fear to get them to believe in their version of who God is. I choose the spirit to guide me to my higher self which is love and in that place of still white light is where God is. And if I am wrong, well God forgive me, I was just curious. As long as one tries to live with pure goodness of forgiveness and love, how can God not welcome them. So many wars over this one topic, us children of God, preaching to each other instead of just being present in the arms of our loving beautiful God. I love you God, and Jesus and Buddha and all the others who came before me in trying to bring us home, home to light and love and everlasting peace. Christians today have gotten a bit cray cray with their fear based scripture or maybe they have always been. Tell someone they will go to Hell unless they follow the scripture from this one book seems a bit fear based to me, just saying. Namaste
Thursday, February 4, 2021
Here we are, continuing to battle this side to that side, my God to your God. Here I remain still in my sanctuary, a cave of solitude and peace, looking for reasons, purpose to just be. Hearing the call to make a change, choosing which battle is worth the debate. As we are all connected in some way? I struggle to believe, woven into one fabric yet with my design being on the far end of this masterpiece... it is a different shade as to others on the other side, yet the thread weaves us together, however the hate and judgement weakens the thread, as the fabric is stretched out, unable to expose her true design. My heart tells me love will bring us together, yet before that we must re weave and tighten up. In this we seek out what is that to be? Can it be repaired? Or has the day arrived to let go and begin to weave a new design, will we all join? Or is the day of reckoning here? In that, what does it mean? Faith they say, believe even though you do not know, make your peace with All that is, and in the end if someone mentions your name, hopefully they can say, you did your best, well done. God help us all.
Monday, January 18, 2021
So here we are, 2021, getting close to a year of uncertainty. In these days I am more settled in my sanctuary of just being. The beginning brought more anxiety of what to do, where to go. Today I have settled into patience, yet is that good or bad? Creativity comes in spurts yet not much planned focus on how to delegate that. COVID visited our home, with my love having issues 6 weeks post, perhaps it passed through me, who is to say, sickness never arrived for me. Brain fog I do have, yet that is expected with days of isolation. I have little clarity on which step to take so gently I just care for myself, meditate and await for direction on how I should live my days, how can I contribute to the world. One thing I do know is we are all in this together and I have great hope we shall all prevail. So gratitude it is, for it’s the only thing I do know for sure, it gets you out of the shadow days, so much to be grateful for in my little life, walk on dear ones, look around, I bet you can see something beautiful, smile for that.