Tuesday, December 31, 2024

2025 let’s go

 2025 is near and here.  It is my 60th year, wow, all I can say is time you go by fast, it is true life is just a moment.  In reflection, I am beyond grateful for all that was, the joy, the pain, the growth, the release, no regrets yet I have creative projects that haunt me so must be completed this year.  I feel the biggest challenge has been what do I want and why for if I can answer that, all comes all flows.  Community is important, freedom, recognition, purpose, change, healing, love… we all want the same thing, yet when years pass the urge of why I am here and what is it I must do?  Maybe nothing, maybe this lifetime is just to find love, love in myself and others, to trust that we exist to simply be… yet I am an artist and I love to perform, so that drives me in this journey, but I want the art to mean something, I need to feel good about it, I want to speak of truth behind it I want to shift people’s thoughts I want to heal myself and others through it, big demands, hard to find the path for all that, I complicate it, waiting for signs, doubting myself for being too lazy in the quest, forgiving myself for missed steps and moving forward.  So here we go 2025, thank you 2024 for inspiring me to continue to grow, heal and love, may the next bring more lessons of love, may I learn, may I grow, may my purpose show it self, may creativity and inspiration come to me, thank you for what is here and for what is to come, namaste, Marie

Sunday, October 6, 2024

Still hurts

 15 years since my beautiful Moma Clare Miller left us, time does not heal, you just get use to the feeling of her gone, still hurts, I just miss more.  Feeling the need to write a magical moment that happened though.  We went on a boat ride, saw dolphins, later we released flowers and the dolphins returned at the perfect moment over the flowers, words cannot express the magic that was felt, it is on video, too precious and private to share, but a gift she gave me as the flowers floated away, in my heart it felt as though she was telling me I am gone but love lives and all continues and all is well… I don’t know, I just miss her so much, that is all I can really say, it still hurts, we walk on, and I just love her more today than yesterday…

Thursday, June 6, 2024

New moon thoughts

 New moon a time of renewal new birth new dreams, new me?  As you age there is a releasing of the younger self, a thank you for all you have done and now you can go, so the new self, the wiser, the consciousness can rise and the ego self can surrender and let go.  Easy to say, harder to do, a process of the unlearning, the shedding etc etc.  sort of a mourning period for the younger self to say goodbye as you thank it for getting you to where you are today.  Oh the life, the lessons, the letting go, the forever unfolding of forgiving self and others.  Always back to love, love for what was, love for now.  Still learning to be in the now, to be the witness of my thoughts, to be grateful for all of it, excited for what is yet to come.  What a ride huh?  Namaste

Sunday, March 3, 2024

Tick tock

 Tick tick goes the clock, the mind can race, ocd, overthinker, tick tock.  The terror is overthinking, than overthinking why I am overthinking, from art to simple task, am I satisfied, did I do it to the best of my capabilities, is there more, should there be less, tick tock.  All the tools, yet difficult at times to apply, see the monkey brain playing with my soul, surrender? No? Yes?  Tick tock, trying to get off the ride but she pulls me in, the part addicted to suffering, fighting to stay alive.  Breathe, let go, try try try… tick tock.  

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